There is not much to say. Or perhaps, there is so much to say that the prospect of a suitable inception daunts. I have been asked how I want to occupy my days, post these four years, unfailingly and redundantly in the past couple of months. No earlier than yesterday, a friend wanted to know about my least preferred form of interrogation. But of course, the latter reverberated the former. How could it not? I spent the better part of a quarter of an hour contemplating which to read-Pride and Prejudice; or Persuasion. How am I supposed to decide something so……….. monumental now? The fact that I read neither, the phenomenon that I occupied that day studying AA Milne’s “Winnie the Pooh” should purport to the readers the image that I am trying to project with such painstaking diligence.
After a great degree of meditation, I have had an eureka moment. I have found my forte in life. No, no, I am not taking a friend’s advice to be a cartoon character albeit both my friend and I concede that it is my natural calling. It would require very little labour on my part. Work should connote diligence, toil and exertion and not natural flair, so that option was ruled out with deliberate expedience.
My calling in life is procrastination. It is a function of lethargy. It is a procrastination so evolved that it even engenders classification-a procrastination to decide, and even a procrastination to think.
Par exemple, my wardrobe is almost entirely pink. It saves me the hesitation of decision in the mornings.
I loathe wearing shoes, it takes too much effort to wrestle with the laces.
My grand old age belies the fact that I can’t drive.
I haven’t even attempted to read James Joyce till now.
I could enlist more vindications, but I would rather procrastinate.
In other news, I think that I am in love with Shel Silverstein’s poetry. He just cracks me up. Here is a poem called “God’s Wheel.
GOD says to me with a kind
of smile, "Hey how would you like
to be God awhile And steer the world?"
"Okay," says I, "I'll give it a try.
Where do I set?
How much do I get?
What time is lunch?
When can I quit?"
"Gimme back that wheel," says GOD.
"I don't think you're quite ready YET."